Showing posts with label loneliness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loneliness. Show all posts

The Connection Gap: Why Americans Feel so Alone Review

The Connection Gap: Why Americans Feel so Alone
Average Reviews:

(More customer reviews)
Are you looking to buy The Connection Gap: Why Americans Feel so Alone? Here is the right place to find the great deals. we can offer discounts of up to 90% on The Connection Gap: Why Americans Feel so Alone. Check out the link below:

>> Click Here to See Compare Prices and Get the Best Offers

The Connection Gap: Why Americans Feel so Alone ReviewThis was a good, insightful book. Pappano unites many small, seemingly disparate observations about modern living by showing how our lives are requiring less and less interactions with other people. The result is that we're creating a "connection gap," where we fail to truly connect in a meaningful way with others. Also, we've moved from a society with an emphasis on the group and responsibility to others, to one where the central figure is the self. Throughout the book, Pappano supplements her own observations with reams of statistics and numerous references, and in the end, I found the result thorough and insightful. The only complaint I have is that Papanno's theme was somewhat repetitive at points.
Here is a sampling of the examples that Papanno uses to support her thesis that modern requires less interactions with other people, thus creating a "connection gap:"
Our homes are also becoming small fortresses -- we increasingly use Caller-ID to screen our calls, install home security systems or live in gated communities, and don't even live in houses with porches anymore. Why would you? All the action is on the inside of the house. Also, new homes have grown larger -- the average square footage for new houses has gone up by 41% over past 30 years. Now-days, each person can retreat to their own nook in the house, rather than watching the family TV with each other, or lingering in the same rooms. Bathrooms have grown more luxurious, and we retreat into these private spas to relax alone. Kitchens are larger, too, but people families are more likely to be eating alone sequentially, rather than having the whole family sit down together for a meal & talking about the events of the day.
In the car, TVs and VCRs are now available in minivans, so the kids in the back seat can watch a tape while Mom & Dad drive while listening to their favorite CD, thus avoiding interactions with the kids. If the kids want music, they can put on a walkman, and have their own separate, private musical experience without involving anyone else.
We may drive our minivans to the new main street of America, the Mall. There, we may satisfy more than our lust for stuff; attentive salespeople also provide what we crave: personal and undivided attention that we don't get from each other. The mall is a natural place for many people, since the consumer mentality is what defines some people. For them, you are what you buy, so you must shop well ("say you love her with a diamond!"). Also, we may want to shop to "keep up with the Jones'," but increasingly we don't know our neighbors, much less know what their living room looks like (after all, we haven't dropped in on them or socialized with them extensively). Therefore, we increasingly determine our wants by judging our lifestyle against images we see on TV.
We are also increasingly isolated because many interactions that previously involved people are now handled by screens. We view the world through the ATM screen, the TV screen, cruise the internet to shop on the computer screen. We no longer touch the things we buy online, or linger to chat with the bank teller. Screens often these give the illusion of power (you get to choose!), and indeed it is often better to use a screen than to be someplace in person (consider the instant replays at the SuperBowl, for example). However, there is merit to talking to someone face-to-face rather than on a conference call, or going to a ball game and smelling the hot-dogs rather than watching it at home on TV in an easy-chair.
Also, our interactions with friends has changed. Now-days it's rude to just "drop in" on people. We schedule interactions with our friends because we're busy, and most likely we'll plan activity rather than just linger. Even if you're lingering around with another person doesn't guarantee their attention, since an incoming cell-phone call may divert them to chat with someone else. These types of managed, scheduled, and purposeful interaction with friends don't foster the lingering and slow self-disclosure that traditionally leads to building satisfying, meaningful friendships.
Additionally, we're less tolerant of others than we used to be. There's a greater sense of entitlement today -- we think we "deserve" a perfect car, job, or life partner, and as a result we are less willing to compromise, and evaluate relationships to determine if they're wasting our time -- after all, we want our needs to be attended to, so why be with others don't meet our needs?
Furthermore, we don't get as personally involved in community organizations & clubs, increasingly hire lawyers to settle our differences for us, and show increasing amounts of road-rage.
So, given all this, what are we to do? Papanno provides a few recommendations. First, we should revive the art of conversation, and really listen to each other. Next, we should unplug from our electronic distractions -- cell phone, pagers, screens of all sorts -- when the intrude excessively on our lives. Also, we should do more ourselves, rather than relying on experts to help us. The slim recommendations chapter was somewhat of a disappointment, but the issues are multifaceted and don't lend themselves to simple solutions.The Connection Gap: Why Americans Feel so Alone Overview

Want to learn more information about The Connection Gap: Why Americans Feel so Alone?

>> Click Here to See All Customer Reviews & Ratings Now
Read More...

Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection Review

Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection
Average Reviews:

(More customer reviews)
Are you looking to buy Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection? Here is the right place to find the great deals. we can offer discounts of up to 90% on Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection. Check out the link below:

>> Click Here to See Compare Prices and Get the Best Offers

Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection ReviewFrom http://www.laurafreberg.com/blog
I just finished reading Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection, which is coming out towards the end of August. The book summarizes, in very accessible terms, thirty years of work by John Cacioppo of the University of Chicago and his colleagues.
It's initially hard to get past the title. William Patrick, John's coauthor, relates how a friend reading an early manuscript found the word "loneliness" to be disturbing, even more so than "rape," "murder," or "death." This reaction fits perfectly with the major theme of the book-we humans are a very social bunch, and being cut off from other people, as in solitary confinement, might be the very worst punishment of all.
What I especially liked about the book is the constant, seamless integration of what we call "perspectives" in psychology, harkening back to William James. In other words, the neuroscience, social psychology, and cognitive science is all woven together so that you get the big picture. In other writing, John has compared psychology to a symphony, with the different perspectives contributing to the whole of our understanding just as the score, musicians, instruments, and conductor join together to produce fantastic music. He and William have definitely succeeded in bringing this integration to the study of loneliness. Given the all-too-frequent Balkanization of psychology into little subdomains, this approach is refreshing and informative.
Like William's friend, I found myself feeling sad at times while reading the book. I don't consider myself a lonely person, as I am blessed by having a close family and good friends. But I know a lot of lonely people, and reading the various case studies brought these people to mind in a vivid way. The sad mood lifted, however, when John would throw in some of his modest and self-deprecating humor, as in his description of his trip to "Grenada." Enough said. You need to read the book to find out the rest.
In spite of the sober topic, I think many people will jump at the chance to learn more from this book. My mother-in-law, over at our house for lunch, snatched up my copy and asked to borrow it. My daughters are pre-ordering theirs on Amazon. Kristin has mentioned that loneliness is such a huge issue for her soldiers, not only while they deploy, but even more so when they return to families who can't begin to relate to the things they've seen and done in combat. She's hoping that John will take a look at the vulnerability of soldiers to PTSD as a function of their initial loneliness scores, following up on research listed on the Loneliness site.
Best of all, the authors do not stop after describing the origins and implications of loneliness. Instead, there is a careful, thoughtful, step-by-step approach to reducing one's own loneliness. Following the recommended steps is never presented as a magic bullet, or a quick fix, but just a practical way, grounded in good science, to move from point A to point B. No matter how lonely or not lonely you feel, there are suggestions here to make the social aspects of life more meaningful.
Finally, I'd like to end by pointing out that these authors really do practice what they preach. The website for Loneliness has a menu feature called "socialize." In one of the blog entries, William Patrick describes how John insisted that he should be a "full co-author," instead of receiving his usual credits.
For those of you on Facebook, hope you join the Science of Loneliness group. There's something inherently ironic about that statement, but I hope to see you there soon. --Laura Freberg
Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social ConnectionLoneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection Overview

Want to learn more information about Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection?

>> Click Here to See All Customer Reviews & Ratings Now
Read More...