Payback: Why We Retaliate, Redirect Aggression, and Take Revenge Review

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Payback: Why We Retaliate, Redirect Aggression, and Take Revenge ReviewBasically, though neither of the husband-and-wife team of authors uses the phrase, this book is a backgrounder evolutionary psychology done right, with a full course of social psychology, on why people usally act back ... in one of three ways ... when attacked either physically or verbally/emotionally.
The "ev psych done right"? Briefly, the authors note that many animals either retaliate against aggression or else redirect it lower down the food chain while we (and chimpanzees) are the only ones so far known to also use revenge. From there, they look at how this affects/relieves stress, in both humans and other animals.
Then it's on to the human social psychology. They ask how this affects ideas of "justice" and more. The chapter on justice, with its looks at retributive and rehabilitative aspects of justice in light of humans' built-in payback propensities, could become a book by itself were the authors of a mind to do so.
Both in humans and animals, besides stress issues, the authors note aggression, and the various ways of dealing with it, relate closely to social status issues. they suggest this is part of why simple apologies often don't satisfy victims. Rather, whether consciously or not, victims are looking for a restoration of lost status, and perhaps a diminution of the aggressor's status. That doesn't happen after a few words.
Finally, the authors look at various religious traditions, as well as modern psychology, to suggest some ideas for forgiveness, for development of better non-retaliation skills and more.
Finally, don't just take my word for it. Any book with good blurbs by Robert Sapolsky and Frans de Wall ... another "Recommend" right there. So dive in!Payback: Why We Retaliate, Redirect Aggression, and Take Revenge Overview

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Stealth of Nations: The Global Rise of the Informal Economy Review

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Stealth of Nations: The Global Rise of the Informal Economy ReviewAt a time when we have serious concerns over unemployed and underemployed, about regulation that strangles or stifles business, and taxation and tariff rates that drive prices through the roof, this fascinating little gem grabs you from the start with stories and data about the 'real' economy around the world, where currently fifty percent (and moving towards sixty percent) of the billions of working people in the world are doing so in the 'informal' economy, below the radar, off the official record, not part of world GDP. Neuwirth cites an estimate that this 'informal' economy amounts to about $10 trillion dollars annually, or about one-eighth of the world economy. Why so many people and so little economic impact? Because the margins in this business are razor-thin, where unfettered and, yes, in some cases, illegal, immoral and unscrupulous business better expresses capitalism than does the image of the multi-billion dollar global corporation.
Working his way through South America, China and Africa, Neuwirth meets and understands the people, their motives, and their practices. He is not writing about the darkest side of the economy, i.e., sex, drug and nuclear weapons trade, but rather the basic human element of survival, where entrepreneurs with a real flair for business work deals between Nigeria and China, dealing only in cash, bribing and smuggling, and providing a living for tens of millions of people. One can't decide if this is the solution to world economic problems, the 'real' economic problem itself, or just a grey underground world of questionable practices. Yet as scholars and over the years have noted over the years, the practice of these entrepreneurs are not that morally different from that of the established corporations. While I am not ready to go that far, read it and decide for yourself.Stealth of Nations: The Global Rise of the Informal Economy Overview

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Knowing Your Value: Women, Money and Getting What You're Worth Review

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Knowing Your Value: Women, Money and Getting What You're Worth ReviewI have to admit, I did not have much of an expectation regarding this book. I picked it up at the bookstore to leaf through out of curiosity since I regularly watch the morning show she's on , and at times not really understanding the role she plays. What a surprise this book turned out to be!I could not put it down and ended up buying it and now buying many copies for my friends, mentorees and daughter in laws. I have spent the past 35 years , some would say very successfully, working myself up the corporate ladder, ending up as president of business units and companies. I experienced what she and her contributors have described in this book and I wish I had a book like this to read to 1) understand why I was behaving and feeling like I did, 2) why I let bosses and companies take advantage of me 3)understand better how to get for myself what I deserved....and overall to know I was not alone in this situation.
I think this book is a great resource for every woman, and especially relevant for young women starting out on the corporate ladder, especially when there is so much "fluff" is written on career advice. I admire Mika B's honesty, and her access to prominent women is really helpful in that, their stories may provide the motivation for some women to act on the advice given in this book.Knowing Your Value: Women, Money and Getting What You're Worth Overview

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Nothing to Lose, Everything to Gain: How I Went from Gang Member to Multimillionaire Entrepreneur Review

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Nothing to Lose, Everything to Gain: How I Went from Gang Member to Multimillionaire Entrepreneur ReviewDon't buy this book unless you like being treated like a sucker. I first came across this author on Yahoo News. The heading of the article sounded really interesting, about a young entrepeneur who came from the ghetto and made millions by the time he was 21. Once I started reading the article, I quickly realized that it was not a legitimate news piece at all, but a "fake" blurb created by a PR firm to create "Buzz," to sell this book. Naturally I was curious, so I looked up the book at Amazon, and guess what! I find one fake review after another, all posted within a few days of each other, all 4 & 5 star reviews, and all by first time-reviewers using words like "gripping," "riveting," "inspirational." Unless you like being treated with contempt and taken for an idiot who can't tell the difference between true praise and a bunch of paid trolls, please don't support this kind of trash marketing.Nothing to Lose, Everything to Gain: How I Went from Gang Member to Multimillionaire Entrepreneur Overview

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Brain Bugs: How the Brain's Flaws Shape Our Lives Review

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Brain Bugs: How the Brain's Flaws Shape Our Lives ReviewAs much as we rely on our brains to navigate the complex world before us, anyone who has ever forgotten someone's name, or misread a situation, or made a poor decision in the heat of the moment knows that the brain does not always work as we would want. In his new book `Brain Bugs', neurobiologist Dean Buonomano explores the brain's many pitfalls and mistakes (and how and why it makes them), and also offers up some advice on how we can best manage these so called `brain bugs' in our everyday lives.
Buonomano identifies 3 major sources whence brain bugs originate. The first has to do with the fact that our brains are the product of evolution, and have evolved as they have to answer the specific challenges that we faced in our evolutionary history; therefore, while our brains may be well adapted to perform functions that were particularly important in our survival and reproduction in the environment in which our species evolved, they may not do as well at functions which, though handy, did not figure as prominently in our evolutionary past (remembering names seems to fall under this category). The second source of our brain bugs may be attributed to the fact that while evolution has brought us a host of useful mental abilities that have allowed us to survive and thrive, it is still a rather clumsy process, and as such does not always offer up perfect, or even optimal solutions; thus the mental systems that we have are sometimes prone to error and quirky behaviour (hence optical illusions, the ever raging and somewhat awkward battle between our reason and our impulses, and a number of other interesting effects). Finally, the third source of our brain bugs stems from the fact that while many of the brain systems that we have inherited were well adapted to the environment in which our species evolved, this environment has changed considerably in the recent past, to the point where some of the adaptations themselves may be ineffective and even counter-productive today (our craving of sugary, fatty foods, for instance, would have been very useful in the environment in which we evolved--where starvation was much more of a threat than heart disease, but can be positively disastrous in the modern world, where the opposite is more often the case). For a more elaborate summary of the main argument of the book, as well as some of the juicier details to be found therein, visit my blog: it's called nonfictionforum at the wordpress site, and read the article entitled "On `Brain Bugs'".
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Change Anything: The New Science of Personal Success Review

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Change Anything: The New Science of Personal Success Review"Change Anything" comes with a risky and audacious promise: if you apply the principles of this book to your life you will produce sustainable change in your behavior that will noticeably improve your life! To make such a huge claim about a topic of such immense practical importance is, indeed, audacious.
So does "Change Anything" live up to its claim? Yes, and No.
YES
The fact that I think this book lives up to anything even approaching its bold claim is a high recommendation for this book. Here's what the book delivers that makes me believe that if you actually understand and faithfully use the principles of this book that you can, indeed, change many of your behaviors for the better.
First, the authors free us from a powerful mind trap: the simplistic belief that if only we had more willpower we'd succeed in changing our lives. The reality the authors argue for (persuasively) is that while willpower is still important, changing behavior turns out to be as much about "skill" as it is about "will." And the truth is that certain skills for changing our behaviors can be taught. The authors also point out that that often (for example when you go to Las Vegas into a casino) you can't see what's controlling. However, "If you can see it, you can change it." "Change Anything," then, is a book about seeing the hidden influences in our lives and using them to change our behaviors from ones with negative to ones with positive consequences.
The book opens with a series of fascinating experiments on children that provide evidence for all that the authors will present. Throughout, what the authors teach is supported by research experiments that are not only enlightening but also entertaining.
So why do we fail at personal change? We don't have enough influences working for us and working all together.
It turns out that there are 6 sources of Influence in our lives. These same 6 sources of influence can be used to either promote a healthy or unhealthy behavior.
1. personal motivation - tap into your existing desires and wants
2. personal ability - learn new skills to promote change
3. social motivation - turn accomplices into friends that help you make positive changes
4. social ability - use confederates to enable good choices
5. structural motivation - directly link short-term rewards and punishments to your new habits
6. structural ability - change your environment to one more likely to promote the change you want
For each of these 6 sources of influence, the authors provide specific strategies for change that will use this influence to help you change your behavior to something positive instead of the default negative behavior. Their identification of the 6 sources of influence, combined with their chapter-long discussion of strategies to change each of these influences, is an impressive accomplishment.
I don't want to give away too much of their work, but when I looked at the chapter on the first factor, which I thought might be one of the weakest areas, I was surprised to find the authors advocating that it is, in fact, possible to learn to love what you hate. If someone can change this, then change is very, very possible.
The remainder of the book, after describing each influence and its attendant strategies in detail, applies these 6 sources of influence and change to key areas of our lives that are what most of us care most about: career success, weight loss, financial fitness, addiction, relationships, and how to change the world.
This is an impressive book that has brought together in one place a simple, powerful, and reasonable means of changing our lives.
NO
After such a glowing report, why do I say that the authors don't completely live up to their promise? Because I believe that the human heart is more corrupt, self-deceptive, and weak than they assume. I believe that there are certain things about our lives that, in spite of persistently and intentionally using their strategies, will remain unchanged. In spite of using a variety of influences as suggested, often the heart wants what the heart wants, even if it's not good for the body, the soul, or others. Having said this, this is still an incredible book! I've read several books on change, many on finding your talents and using them, many other self-help books, and even more on leadership. "Change Anything" is a book that excels most of these other books I've read, and I believe that just about everyone should have it on their bookshelf. But don't merely "read" this book: put it into effect. I'm confident you'll be surprised at how different life can be.
By the way, this book also comes with a free code to access their website with a lot of additional information. If you liked this book, then you might also enjoy and benefit from Cialdini's "Influence." "Influence" won't teach you how to change things, but it will provide much more fascinating evidence about the things that influence us, often without us knowing it.
If you want to know not only how to change your behavior but how to influence others for good, read the authors' other book: "Influencer." It's probably even better!
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The Secret Life of Pronouns: What Our Words Say About Us Review

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The Secret Life of Pronouns: What Our Words Say About Us ReviewJames Pennebaker studies words. Originally interested in the beneficial effect of writing about personal trauma, he and his students developed software to analyze this writing. Their investigation soon expanded to include spoken conversations, emails, political speeches, and other language samples. They discovered that much can be learned from the short "stealth words" that we barely notice, but that make up more than half of our speech. "Pronouns (such as I, you, we, and they), articles (a, an, the), prepositions (e.g., to, for, over), and other stealth words broadcast the kind of people we are."
Pennebaker summarizes his trauma research, noting that "people who benefit from writing express more optimism, acknowledge negative events, are constructing a meaningful story of their experience, and have the ability to change perspective as they write." Searching for reliable linguistic indicators of these processes identified writing style rather than more substantive content words. The resulting LIWC software works well regardless of a text's content.
Using both research findings and representative everyday examples, Pennebaker reviews what he has learned. Topics addressed include gender, status and social class, personality, leadership style, deception, interpersonal attraction, and group solidarity. The author not only presents conclusions from his own research, but links to supporting findings using non-linguistic methods. Specific findings include:
-LIWC correctly identifies an author's gender 72% of the time using writing style. This increases to 76% when content words are included. (Human guesses range from 55 to 65%.)
-On detecting depression: "Sadness generally causes people to focus inwardly. Pronouns tend to track people's focus of attention, and when in great emotional or physical pain, they tend to use I-words at high rates. Sadness, unlike most other emotions, is associated with looking back into the past and into the future. In other words, people tend to use past- and future-tense verbs more when they are sad or depressed compared to other strong emotions."
- "No system has ever been shown to reliably catch liars at rates higher than 65 percent. And even those with hit rates in that neighborhood (including me) have done so in highly controlled and artificial circumstances."
- "Linguistic style matching" across nine categories of function words occurs within the first 15 to 30 seconds of an attentive conversation. It is generally beyond conscious awareness. LSM profiles can predict a number of things better than chance, including whether a "speed dating" couple will pursue a further relationship after their initial four-minute discussion.
Pennebaker clearly wants to share, not just his insights, but the methods used to achieve them. Much of his research was done collaboratively, not just with students and fellow researchers, but with public figures, professionals in other fields, and anyone else with interesting documents. Readers are pointed to web sites that let them experiment with Pennebaker's techniques and a version of his LIWC software is available for more in-depth investigations. An appendix includes "A Handy Guide for Spotting and Interpreting Function Words in the Wild."
This book is an accessible summary of James Pennebaker's work with helpful citations of similar research by others. It serves as a guide to more technical discussions of text analysis through an extensive Bibliography and References section--and pointers to downloadable research reports from the author's web site. Interested readers might also enjoy Roderick Hart's Campaign Talk or one of the other related books the author mentions.The Secret Life of Pronouns: What Our Words Say About Us Overview

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Lonely at the Top: The High Cost of Men's Success Review

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Lonely at the Top: The High Cost of Men's Success ReviewDrawing on decades of research, Thomas Joiner weaves a neglected story about how the manly pursuit of status, power, wealth, and autonomy leads to great rewards in work and play but at the expense of loving, caring friendships.
Using rigorous scientific techniques, we know that what we strive for matters for well-being. Striving for wealth and power is less likely to bring about happiness and meaning in life than working hard to care for other people and developing intimate bonds. But if there is one thing we know its that whatever society rewards is what you will see more of. Have you seen Forbes list of the 500 foremost people who provide love, friendship, support, and laughter in the world? Nope. Have you received any feedback on your ability to make and maintain friends in high school, college, or in the workplace? Probably not. Have your friends and colleagues given you a surprise party to celebrate your amazing ability to ask questions and take an interest in what they are passionate about? your willingness to sacrifice countless late nights consoling them? Unlikely. But if you landed a work promotion, published a book, or appeared in a movie, champagne bottles tend to appear alongside lavish praise.
In this book, Joiner does not suggest that we choose between success and friendship. He suggests that balance take the place of overly simplified solutions. Conscious attention needs to be given to friendships. Without regular nourishment, relationships wither and die like any other living, breathing organism. And when important relationships falter, and they will, we need to replenish them.
Unlike many researchers turned authors, Joiner doesn't let the storyline get weighed down with intricate details of study after study. Instead, he synthesizes what is known and provides insights into how people can manage loneliness and improve their social connections. We are not talking about psychological disorders or mental illness. We are talking about the difficulties of being human. We are talking about issues that men rarely acknowledge, talk about, or address.
Having worked with many people in the business world, I know many men and women who fit the template of prioritizing success at the expense of significant, meaningful relationships. Here's hoping this book gets into people's hands. The science is strong, the writing flows smoothly, and the final section on interventions makes sense and can be readily implemented right away.
cheers,
Todd
author of Curious?: Discover the Missing Ingredient to a Fulfilling LifeLonely at the Top: The High Cost of Men's Success Overview

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